I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm like, not good at living.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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