PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
