I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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