Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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