I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
