i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
