Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i love accidental penises.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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