uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
