smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
