We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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