how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
