half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We're too hungover to prance.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
