apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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