just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
