How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
