I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
