hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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