I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
