i don't plan on having that self control this summer
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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