and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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