the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
