ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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