It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
