i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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