READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
