Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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