ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
There r osticjed everywhere
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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