I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
