I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
