so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
