Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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