Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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