Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
