dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So many bounce houses so little time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
