After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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