I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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