Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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