Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I intend to get homeless drunk
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
