He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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