It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
