eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
