There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
