thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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