I got chris browned last night
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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