I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
