Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
