so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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