you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
