i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
