you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
